Southern Redneck Question

[Wabujitsu]

With all due respect my friend, you and your wife live in the ‘burbs. My wife and I live in a FL swamp, with 9 months of heat index in the 100’s, daily humidity thicker ‘n slug snot, skeeters that will choke you at night if you don’t cover your cake hole...and everything else I described in previous posts. We’ve lived out and about here for bout 38 years. It takes a woman meaner than a wet panther, a woman tough as woodpecker lips to put up with this. And trust me, there ain’t no lipstick on them woodpecker lips.

Hell, she came up to me t’other night totin’ a snake longer ‘n she is tall - and she was grinnin’ like a mule eatin’ briars. She’s so tough Chuck Norris uses her picture to describe “tough.”

What do you get for a woman like that, besides a wide berth?

My wife just read this last post of mine. She INSTANTLY had a number of suggestions for the last question: “Another Glock. More Catahoula Leopard Dogs. A Jeep. More Ammo. A generator. Oh, and a diamond - not cuz they’re purty, but cuz they are tough.”

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[Wanted33]

Damn Jeff, if I had all that property you have I would brag too. Being an old redneck from the Carolina's I'm a bit jealous of the privacy you have. You know us proper rednecks don't do real good around uppity people.

 

[Roadglide]

Do what ya gotta do LOL!!! We sleep more peacefully when we hear the neighbors shooting. Last time I went out back to shoot, three neighbors called, trying to guess which weapons I was shooting. For the record, I was trying out a new AK-47, after I rapid-fired my M4 and my EDC. Envy me; yes, I can shoot legally on our property. :D

If the zombie apocalypse ever comes, I think myself and my neighbors will be well-set

Damn, looks remote but you keep your Jeep clean!!

 

[Wabujitsu]

Damn Jeff, if I had all that property you have I would brag too. Being an old redneck from the Carolina's I'm a bit jealous of the privacy you have. You know us proper rednecks don't do real good around uppity people.

Ah, some country folk can be uppity in their own way, especially toward city folk. That’s not me; I am just as comfortable in the big city as I am out here, but I far prefer out here. I’ve been overseas a handful of times, in some of the largest Asian cities in the world, by myself, using the public transportation trains, where I didn’t speak or read the language. I’ve dealt with violence in equatorial jungles in communist countries. I’ve talked my way through many “things” using my limited lingual knowledge and “universal language.” I’ve been shot at more times than I can remember; after that, humility comes easy, and I respect EVERYONE. The book is being written; I’m about a fourth through it.

For the record, we only have slightly over three acres. Privacy we have. I told my wife a long time ago that I only had one requirement before we bought this place - I wanted to be able to urinate anywhere on the property, including by the road, with no chance of being seen. I know that’s quite cave-mannish, but think about it - what better test of privacy?

 

[Wabujitsu]

Damn, looks remote but you keep your Jeep clean!!

Hahahaha! I took it through the mud the other day; badge of honor and all that juvenile crap. But the torrential daily rain we’ve been having keeps the damn thing fairly clean! Today is the first day in at least a month we haven’t been pounded by thunderstorms.

 

[Wabujitsu]

Damn, looks remote but you keep your Jeep clean!!

Matt, I gotta ask, how are you feeling about our chances of avoiding a late season storm this year? Y’all have been hit harder than us in recent years. The Gulf temps have us nervous.

 

[Roadglide]

Matt, I gotta ask, how are you feeling about our chances of avoiding a late season storm this year? Y’all have been hit harder than us in recent years. The Gulf temps have us nervous.

I'm feeling good about a storm less season. Just my way of warding off the Hurricane Devils.
We took it head on Sept 10,2017 and it was a fricking mess and costly$$. The gulf is almost 90 degrees so anything can happen but damn I hope Mother Nature leaves us alone for a long time.

 

[Wanted33]

Ah, some country folk can be uppity in their own way, especially toward city folk. That’s not me; I am just as comfortable in the big city as I am out here, but I far prefer out here. I’ve been overseas a handful of times, in some of the largest Asian cities in the world, by myself, using the public transportation trains, where I didn’t speak or read the language. I’ve dealt with violence in equatorial jungles in communist countries. I’ve talked my way through many “things” using my limited lingual knowledge and “universal language.” I’ve been shot at more times than I can remember; after that, humility comes easy, and I respect EVERYONE. The book is being written; I’m about a fourth through it.

For the record, we only have slightly over three acres. Privacy we have. I told my wife a long time ago that I only had one requirement before we bought this place - I wanted to be able to urinate anywhere on the property, including by the road, with no chance of being seen. I know that’s quite cave-mannish, but think about it - what better test of privacy?

Hey bud, if you can go outside "necked" and no one calls the Pole-ess, you've got it made.

 

[Wabujitsu]

Hey bud, if you can go outside "necked" and no one calls the Pole-ess, you've got it made.

My wife might say from spittin’ distance from me she still needs binos to see what I’m frettin’ with...

 

[Wabujitsu]

I'm feeling good about a storm less season. Just my way of warding off the Hurricane Devils.
We took it head on Sept 10,2017 and it was a fricking mess and costly$$. The gulf is almost 90 degrees so anything can happen but damn I hope Mother Nature leaves us alone for a long time.

I hear you brother.

 

[NewJLU2019]

With all due respect my friend, you and your wife live in the ‘burbs. My wife and I live in a FL swamp, with 9 months of heat index in the 100’s, daily humidity thicker ‘n slug snot, skeeters that will choke you at night if you don’t cover your cake hole...and everything else I described in previous posts. We’ve lived out and about here for bout 38 years. It takes a woman meaner than a wet panther, a woman tough as woodpecker lips to put up with this. And trust me, there ain’t no lipstick on them woodpecker lips.

Hell, she came up to me t’other night totin’ a snake longer ‘n she is tall - and she was grinnin’ like a mule eatin’ briars. She’s so tough Chuck Norris uses her picture to describe “tough.”

What do you get for a woman like that, besides a wide berth?

Well, after I picked myself up off the floor from laughing so hard reading your reply I had to go fix dinner.

You can get her a Good Dehumidifier !!
A Pink/Camo Mosquito Net for Bed !!
A room for her Trophies ( Huntsman Spider Mounted, Snakeskin Mounted )
The Chuck Norris Poster of her framed and hung beside her Trophies !!
A trip to a Day Spa to work some of that Meanest from her !!
Then ask her for the $1000 from across the biggest room you have with the door open behind you !!
Maybe and that's A Maybe she might say YES !! Just show her you are not afraid of her !!! lol
Again I say GOOD LUCK JEFF !!! Cover from

 

[wordslayer]

and some things I cannot explain (another thread perhaps; suffice it to say that I was on Animal Planet’s Finding Bigfoot for one of the longest interviews for the series).

if they didn't find him there, then I hate to see the place he does live in.

 

[Chooglin]

It was an interview with Skyla Ballard. I cannot find the clip; don’t think I ever listened to it, frankly. If you find it, please let me know!

I found the page where she posted the interview as an embedded youtube video. Unfortunately the video is dead as well as her channel. Oh well.

 

[Wabujitsu]

I found the page where she posted the interview as an embedded youtube video. Unfortunately the video is dead as well as her channel. Oh well.

Thanks for looking. I’m sure my interview didn’t amount to much.

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