You might be a Jeeper if...

[swedeviking]

182.) To make room for your hard top, the TopLift, the tubular doors, the half doors, the headlock wheels and off-road tires, the tools and all of the other mods you've ordered and haven't had time to install yet... you have to park your Jeep on the street because there isn't room in your garage...

OPUS You need to publish a book with these hilarious sayings for the Jeepers that may not be on the forum. You'd make a ton in sales so you could order 7 more jeeps in different colors for every day of the week

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[Opus]

OPUS You need to publish a book with these hilarious sayings for the Jeepers that may not be on the forum. You'd make a ton in sales so you could order 7 more jeeps in different colors for every day of the week

Thank you, my friend. Someone else suggested if I can get to 365 I should do a Jeep-a-day calendar... . If you know a publisher I'd be happy to work with them. In the meantime, spread the word and I'll keep writing.

 

[swedeviking]

Thank you, my friend. Someone else suggested if I can get to 365 I should do a Jeep-a-day calendar... . If you know a publisher I'd be happy to work with them. In the meantime, spread the word and I'll keep writing.

Hey,,put me down for that calendar,, that would be AWESOME,, I don't know a publisher but if you check out those 365'day calendars at the stores they have the publisher listed and you could contact them and maybe get a bunch of Jeepers with their photos doing wheeling, falling of ridges (hope not) etc and whatever to be included in each day at the top of the page along with your "funnies"

 

[Opus]

185.) You know the solution to both drought and global warming is for every Jeeper to pull their doors and tops... No way Mother Nature can resist that... Death Valley would be 40 degrees and rainy...

186.) Truth be told, you're not a fan of the bumper closeouts on the Sport, but the thought of taking a Dremel tool or a utility knife to your 50 thousand dollar ride makes you hyperventilate...

187.) You wonder why there needs to be Mud-Terrain Tires if there's an All-Terrain Tire. Isn't mud a terrain???

188.) Your wife catches you having sex with a goat in the back of your now ironically named Wrangler... "But honey, it's a Jeep thing! You wouldn't under--" Nope. Still not appropriate.

 

[Opus]

189.) When you have insomnia, you try counting Jeeps, but for some reason the numbers come out weird: 1... 2... 2.72... 3.45... 3.73... 4.0... 4.11... 4.30... 4.56... 4.63... 4.88... 5.13... 5.29... 5.38...

190.) You've discovered that with the Cold Weather Group:

• One light on the seat warmer button warms the seats.
• Two lights will defrost a frozen rump roast in the passenger seat during your morning commute.
• Three lights will cook that roast to a beautiful medium-rare on your drive home.

191.) In the rain, you tried to turn on the rear window wiper only to remember you have a soft-top...

 

[Opus]

192.) Okay, seriously, about the Auto Stop/Start... is it really that tough to push the button to turn it off? You push a button to start the Jeep every time you get in. You push a button on the head unit to get Studio 54 Radio on SXM so you can get your Donna Summer on (hey, no judgements). You push a button to turn the Jeep off every time you get out. Is pushing one more button really that much of a hardship??? Ask my wife, she'll tell you she has a button somewhere that she's been wanting me to push for 33 years and apparently I have no idea where that damn thing is...

 

[Opus]

193.) Your tread is so deep you once ran over a squirrel without hurting it.

194.) 392 isn't the engine displacement... it's the number of days you had to wait for the Jeep to get built.

195.) You took a day trip up into the mountains... just so you could try 6th gear on the way back down...

196.)
For those who still pine
Waiting patiently for Jeeps
Know your day will come

 

[Opus]

197.) With a back-up camera... the front trail cam... maybe add a few aftermarket camera's on each side and you could tint your windows like a welder's mask and still get around. Watch a solar eclipse from the comfort of your Jeep.

198.) Your Jeep has an 8 speed automatic transmission that shifts like butter. It has an infotainment system that gives you good sound and off-road pages. You can remote start it using your Apple Watch. But you still have to pay 30 bucks to Amazon to buy a piece of metal to rest your left foot against because Jeep apparently doesn't understand the concept of a wedge.

199.) You replaced your stock antenna with a stubby antenna and then got a painful reminder how cat whiskers work...

 

[Opus]

200.) You can't decide if your vanity plate should be:

JL4EVR
JEEEEP
4XLOVE
OVRLND
RUBICN
WILLYS
SPORTS
2LTRBO
392LUV
DEEESL
LVMYJP
2H4H4L
41TOJL
JPWAVE
NAWWAL
FLPOVR
JPTHNG
FBRNCO
YUDUYU
AJP4ME
ADVNTR
RKCRWL
6SPMAN
TRLRTD
WEELIN
MY401K
MIDLIF
TROPHY
NOTCAR
MCHMNY
....

 

[ASMSAS]

I'm ROFLMAO every time I read your comments

 

[Opus]

201.) The righteous indignation you feel with your measly 10 bolt bead-lock trim rings knows no bounds...

202.) Your wife thought you were crazy doing the rear seat delete. She got mad when you spent all that money on the mattress platform and wired mini-fridge. But now you can list your Jeep as an efficiency apartment on VRBO and in San Francisco rent it out for six bills a night. So, who's the idiot now, Linda???...

203.) Gladiator... Wagoneer... Wrangler... Cherokee... Renegade... you get the feeling somebody at Jeep had a little bit of a "bad boy" fixation? NTTAWWT...

204.) You try not to think about the number of different ways people carry a fire extinguisher in their Jeep. I mean, that's totally normal, right? I'm sure on the Toyota Camry forum they have all kinds of posts about carrying a fire extinguisher...

 

[Opus]

205.) If you look up the definition of "dread" in the dictionary you see a picture of your Jeep penned in behind a gravel truck on a highway. That tell-tale thwack is the stuff of nightmares...

206.) Unlike most other vehicles, wheeling your new rig too hard fresh off the lot means there's a decent chance you could be upside-down on your Jeep at the same time you're upside-down in your Jeep...

 

[ASMSAS]

207. You suddenly realize all those years building lego kits was actually preparing you for your latest Jeep project.

 

[Opus]

207. You suddenly realize all those years building lego kits was actually preparing you for your latest Jeep project.

For me it was Erector sets...

 

[Opus]

208.) Today, a dude didn't return your Jeep Wave. So you memorized his license plate... tracked down his name and address on the dark web... drove to his house... threw a few Molotov cocktails through his living room window and watched as his home burned to the ground. Bet you'll wave next time, Chad...

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