You might be a Jeeper if...

[Opus]

209.) You're so paranoid about your Jeep being stolen you bought a guard dog to sleep in it at night. Seemed like a good idea at the time. But after one night you now need a new interior... and probably a rabies shot. But the Jeep is right where you left it...

210.) You were so depressed waiting for your Jeep, you wrote a blues song about it.

"Wrangler Waitin' Blues" (from the Waiting/Venting thread)

(DA da-da-da DUH!)
Woke up this morning...
(DA da-da-da DUH!)
Rolled out of the bed...
(DA da-da-da DUH!)
Dreams of that new Jeep, baby...
Still wheelin' through my head.

And it's been so long...
It's been so long since I've heard some news...
But I'm stuck down here in Order Confirmed...
Hoping to cure my Wrangler waitin' blues.

(DA da-da-da DUH!)
Stumbled to my computer...
(DA da-da-da DUH!)
Typed in my VON...
(DA da-da-da DUH!)
But all I got was that pizza tracker...
Shining me on.

And it's been so hard...
It's been so hard not hearing any news...
But I can't quit that damn tracker, baby...
I need to cure my Wrangler waitin' blues.

(DA da-da-da DUH!)
Now my woman's gone and left me...
(DA da-da-da DUH!)
Said she had to go...
(DA da-da-da DUH!)
Now I see ridin’ with another man...
Drivin’ a Ford Bronco.

And it's been so tough...
Tough sittin’ here without any news...
I just keep reloading that pizza tracker
When will this cure my Wrangler waitin' blues???

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[Opus]

211.) You await the advent of the Recon EV with the same giddy anticipation your parents awaited the Betamax in '75...

 

[Opus]

212.) Who speeds in a Jeep
Isn't the goal to slow down
Embrace wanderlust

213.) Winter has come. Time to bust out the ice scraper... and the step ladder to reach your lifted windshield...

 

[Opus]

214.) You no longer drive your Jeep in the winter. Not because you don't want to, and certainly not because it isn't capable. But because with the accessories, mods, off-road gear and now cold-weather gear you no longer have room for yourself in your Jeep. Maybe you shoulda bought that 4-door after all...

 

[Opus]

215.) Screw it... you're getting an angry grill because you think it looks cool. To hell with what anybody else thinks. And so what if people mock you on the forum... so what if you never get another "Jeep Wave"... so what if you never know the love of a real woman again...

 

[Opus]

216.) After a few too many martinis, your wife slips into some sexy lingerie and announces that she wants to have sex in your Jeep... not with you, of course, but...

217.) You see a Jeep slow rolling on the shoulder of the road and can't understand why the driver hasn't aired down the other three tires...

218.) You've bought accessories and/or mods for your Jeep that seemed like a good at the time but now you realize they're just plain stupid... no, I don't have a set of 25 black rubber lug nut covers sitting in my garage... why do you ask???

 

[Opus]

219.) Sure, you could settle for the 7" head unit. Or you could upgrade to the 8.4". Hmm... the new Compass now has a 10.1" display and the '24 Wranglers now have 12" units... Aw, screw it, just slap a Vizio 4K TV in there and call it a day:

 

[Opus]

220.) You thought Jeep had gone as far as it could go with the colors... until they announced Puccee Puce, Smegma Smaragdine and Bougie Gamboge for 2024...

 

[ASMSAS]

221. You decided you spent too much time watching stupid animal videos and following people from High School you never talk to any more so you deleted Insta, Tiktok, and Facebook in order to be more productive. You now use all that extra time lurking on the Jeep forum.

 

[Opus]

222.) You installed your Redline hood struts... knowing full-well that installing the struts themselves was probably the last time you'll ever open your hood...

223.) On a related note... you keep a tool kit stashed in the back... and hope if the Jeep breaks down someone will know how to use them...

224.) You've had your blood initiation (where "blood" is leaking oil, water, transmission or transfer case fluid)...

225.) You want your daily driver Jeep to have a more aggressive look. You consider adding an angry grille, but in a moment of clarity you remember you're not a pre-pubescent boy. So, you decide to get some big, beefy M/T tires instead. They look tough. They look manly... whatever that means. But after a few trips to work you realize the tire drone is awfully noisy... and the ride is kinda rough... and it's hard to get into the Jeep now... and your mileage has gone to hell... and...

 

[Opus]

226.) You find yourself contemplating what might have been if Shakespeare owned a Jeep:

O Rubicon, Rubicon, wherefore art thou Rubicon?
Deny Stellantis and refuse thy name.
Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love
And I’ll no longer be a Bronco.
‘Tis but thy name that is my enemy:
Thou art thyself, though not a Jeep.
What’s Jeep? It is nor transfer case nor axle
Nor sway bar disconnect nor lift kit nor any other part
Belonging to a 4X4. O be some other name.
What’s in a name? That which we call a Subaru
By any other name would wheel as well;
So Rubicon would, were he not Rubicon call’d,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Rubicon, doff thy name,
And for that name, which is no part of thee,
Take all myself.

Oh, Juliet, you poor misguided little twit...

 

[Opus]

227.) You've seriously considered popping off the soft-top windows, pulling the doors and throwing on the tonneau cover... with the Jeep parked in your garage... because there's still 3 more months of winter outside. Bonus points if you've tried using a fan and a sunlamp to make the experience feel more outdoorsy...

228.) You've figured out that Jeep probably makes more money renting their name out to (or getting kickbacks from) aftermarket items than they do making Wranglers.

229.) You've bought an item, any item, to fix a potential problem with your Jeep, not one that has actually occurred. By the way, there's a term for the condition, it's called premature ejeepulation...

 

[Opus]

230.) The doors come off, the roof comes off, the windshield folds down. What's next for 2024? The Rubicon FF package. The FF (Fred Flintstone) package lets you delete the floorboards.

231.) You know BOH doesn't stand for Badge Of Honor, it stands for paint Bubbling On Hinges.

 

[Opus]

232.) 33s, 35s, 37s, 40s... ffs just get the tires you really want and be done with it:

 

[dragoneggs]

We’re following… keep rolling!

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