You might be a Jeeper if...

[TheBirdie72]

Seriously @Opus - you have enough material here to build a solid 10-15 minute standup routine. Some really good ones.

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[Opus]

Seriously @Opus - you have enough material here to build a solid 10-15 minute standup routine. Some really good ones.

Thanks. But I think it would only land if I was headlining a Jeep Jamboree. Still waiting for my Jeep...

 

[Opus]

158.) You've waited long enough for the Jeep you ordered to arrive that you've started "accidentally" driving by the dealership at the precise day and time their new orders arrive... Coincidence? Sure. We can call it that... On a completely separate note, is it possible to stalk a company??? Asking for a friend...

159.) You know that the RTQ Option Code means you got the 4G LTE Hotspot with Trial Included. You have no idea what any of that means or what to do with it, of course, but you know you've got it...

160.) You know that with the right skid plate... and a four wheel delete... you could turn your rig into the world's most expensive toboggan... suck it, Rosebud...

 

[Opus]

161.) You know your hatred of the Bronco is wholly irrational. It's just a vehicle... an inanimate object... yet every time you see one, you still want to punch it in its big stupid face...

162.) You've considered installing a winch on either side of your Jeep so that, in a pinch, you can roll yourself back over...

163.) Newer orders filled
My Jeep languishes unmade

Go Toledo go​

164.) Wife catches you with a half kilo of crack cocaine and a dead hooker draped over your hood?
"Honey, it's a Jeep thing... you wouldn't understand."
Nope. Still doesn't work...

 

[Opus]

165.) You paid your entrance fee... packed up your Jeep in giddy anticipation... drove for hours on end... and finally arrived to discover:

you bought your ticket for the wroooong Jamboree... Is there a Merit Badge for rock crawling???

 

[Opus]

166.) You spent a Saturday installing mods on your Jeep... a Sunday uninstalling those same mods because you couldn't get them to work the way they were supposed to... and a Monday at the dealership lying about the poor quality of your Jeep because you couldn't put things back the way they were when you started...

167.) You've spent entirely too much time online arguing the merits of a 5 tire rotation versus a 4 tire rotation...

168.) You will crawl your Jeep up the most ridiculous inclines... flex it over enormous boulders... bury it in mud to the axles... bomb it down B roads... then complain that there's a bubble in the paint on one of your door hinges...

169.) 1941 carries a special significance for you, because with interest rates what they are that's now your monthly loan payment for that 392 Rubi with the XR package...

 

[Opus]

170.) You know that MOPAR is a combination of MOtor PARts. Kinda like:
BRONCO is a combination of BReaking ONe COnstantly...

171.) The first snow of the year and the first salting of the year leave you in an existential funk...

172.) You wonder how a vehicle this expensive could come without automatic windshield wipers... then you remember the windshield folds down...

173.) You find yourself driving down the unpaved alley behind the supermarket because it's the closest thing to a trail you can find in your city...

 

[Opus]

174.) At long last it's here
More than I had imagined
Welcome home my Jeep

175.) You know if you live far enough north, a garden hose is all you need to turn your soft top into a hard top... at least until late spring...

176.) You pull that rear seat out because you know... Once you go back, you'll never go... Well, that didn't work...

 

[Byrds8]

This thread is absolutely hilarious. They should give us a button to like an entire thread instead of per post :D

 

[Opus]

This thread is absolutely hilarious. They should give us a button to like an entire thread instead of per post :D

Thanks. I appreciate it. Tell a friend. Spread the word.

 

[Opus]

177.) You find yourself leaving for work a few minutes early each day just so you can slow it down, take the long way and get a little more seat time...

178.) They call your 4-door a station-wrangler. They call it a mini-wrang. Go ahead, show them what a vangler really is:

btw, what sorta mileage do you suppose that rolling brick gets?

179.) They call it ESS (engine stop/start) or (electronic stop/start)... but you know, you know they first called it what it really is... automatic stop/start... then they put that abbreviation on the dash for the first time... (Though, truth be told, I'm guessing folks might not bypass it so much if they could press the ASS button to turn it on or off. Instead, we have to settle for the big "A" there instead)

180.)
A Jeep,
In four wheel low,
Wheeling up steep inclines,
Overcoming all obstacles,
Your Jeep.

Thought I'd test drive a Jeepquain...

 

[LKG]

181.) You've woken up in the middle of the night to the sound of rain cursing at the weatherman that had assured you that you didn't need to put the cover on overnight.

 

[Opus]

181.) You've woken up in the middle of the night to the sound of rain cursing at the weatherman that had assured you that you didn't need to put the cover on overnight.

This makes me glad I have space in the garage...

 

[LKG]

This makes me glad I have space in the garage...

I'll get it cleaned out someday, baahaaa

 

[Opus]

182.) To make room for your hard top, the TopLift, the tubular doors, the half doors, the beadlock wheels and off-road tires, the tools and all of the other mods you've ordered and haven't had time to install yet... you have to park your Jeep on the street because there isn't room in your garage...

183.) You went from 33s, to 35s, to 37s, to 40s, and you know if you go any higher you should probably just cut a hole in the floorboard and use a step-ladder to get in.

184.) You don't need James Bond's ejector seat. You just need to remove the doors and the top and wait for your "friends" in the back seat to choose to forego their seatbelts...

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