You might be a Jeeper if...

[Opus]

116.) You've picked up a soft-top panel off the side of the road because you forgot and rolled down the driver's side window doing 80mph down the highway...

117.) You've had to Google the best method for cleaning bird shit off your seats...

118.) You proudly tell your wife you can't wait to run all summer with a bikini top... and wonder why she's started researching divorce attorneys...

119.) You worry about the amount of money you're spending on mods, then, out of the blue, you get an email from a representative of a Nigerian prince who needs your help and realize your worries are over...

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[Opus]

120.) You've parked ridiculously far away from your intended destination... because there was another Jeep already parked in the lot and you felt compelled to be next to it...

121.) You either have so many ducks that you no longer have room in your Jeep for them all... or your Jeep smells vaguely of burnt plastic from all the ducks you've torched (man, people are really divided on this duck thing)...

 

[Opus]

122.) You've seen these shirts:

and genuinely wondered what it's trying to say the 392 is...

123.) You've pondered that with a full fender delete, enough wheel spacers and tall enough wheels and tires... you could theoretically run your Jeep upside-down.

124.) Your lift is so high you're persona non grata at the Arby's drive-thru. Seriously... they have a picture of your rig with a big red circle and a line through it...

125.) For Halloween, your Jeep elected to scare you with an ESS error light on the dash...

 

[Opus]

126.) You've fiddled with the Tazer options in your Jeep so often you can now play Pong on your NAV screen...

127.) You removed your hard top... huzzah.

But after a while you realize, wow, that sun is pretty bright and you need a shade so you buy one and put it on.

But after a while you realize that with that back open like that you should probably get a tonneau cover to protect your gear in the back from getting wet, so you buy one and put it on.

But after a while you realize that even with the tonneau, your stuff in the back is pretty vulnerable if someone wants to get at it, so you buy a Tuffy security box to keep everything locked up tight.

But after a while you realize the sun shade you originally bought may be okay for the sun, but it won't really keep the front dry if it rains, so you buy a waterproof cover just in case.

But after a while you realize... (if at this point you're thinking "Yeah...? And...? Don't leave me hanging, bro, what did they buy next?" Seek help. Seek help now.)

128.) You bought a 2-door 6MT because you know some day it will be a collector's item. You'll regale the grandkids with the story of how, back in your day, your Jeep used to run via a series of well-timed explosions using a mix of oxygen and flammable liquid. Liquid refined from black stuff made from decomposed dinosaurs that had to be pumped from the ground...

129.) You wonder why on Earth Jeep would still include a "Smokers Package" in 2023... then you remember your run-in with Cletus and his penchant for "whacky tabacky"...

 

[Opus]

130.) You've heard the engineering aphorism: Strong/Light/Inexpensive - (pick two)... and realize for Jeep it's more like Strong/Light/Inexpensive - (pick one - as long as it's the first one, 'cuz it for damn sure won't be either of the other two)...

131.) You know the punchline to: Two Jeeps crawl onto a bar...

132.) You see this:

And think... "Oh, hey, somebody ordered the Miami Stripper package! I wonder if Chastity is getting one..."

133.) You ordered a Jeep in a limited edition color because you march to the beat of your own drum and wanted something different... you agonized over whether the color rendering on the Jeep site was accurate... you debated and discussed and speculated on the forums about what the actual shade might be... you finally saw photos and still couldn't decide exactly what the color was... maybe it's the camera, or the lighting conditions... and ultimately you decided to bag it and buy something off the lot... (any similarities between these comments and comments made on the Earl Wrangler JL Club thread are purely coincidental)

 

[Opus]

134.) You've contemplated getting one of these:

because it will take up less room in your pocket than the Jeep fob... and let's face it, not everybody needs or wants to look that well-endowed...

135.) You've been told... "Hey, you wheel pretty good... for a girl." and thought (or hopefully said) "Yeah? Well... maybe if you knew how to choose a line, you could wheel pretty good... for a boy."

 

[Opus]

136.) I cried because I had no shoes Jeep until I met a man who had no feet a Chevy Blazer...

137.) The jackass who brake-checks you and makes you lock up your Jeep would piss off a normal person. But you know you're one step closer to that bigger, badder set of new shoes you've had your eye on... Check away, jackass... check away...

138.) Soft tops... dirty, filthy Jeeps... Jeeps going topless... Willys... pretty sure Freud would have driven a Wrangler...

139.) You wish somebody would make a spring-loaded dead pedal... so you could at least pretend you were driving a manual...

 

[Opus]

140.) You looked down your nose at the Gladiator when they first came out. It's a wannabe Wrangler with a short bed stuck on the back, you said... how could it ever be as cool as...

...holy shit!!!...

141.) Waiting for my Jeep
Days become weeks become months

When ends this longing​

​

142.) You take a stock Jeep, add thousands of dollars in lift, tires, and aftermarket suspension bits doing all the work yourself, only to get rid of it a few years later because now it handles like shit on the highway and you don't know how to fix it...

143.) You start hanging out on Jeep forums... first for inspiration on what to do with your Jeep... then for cautionary tales about what not to do to your Jeep...

 

[Opus]

143.) You put in a lift kit with stiffer springs and shocks. You had to. Because after adding the steel bumper and winch in the front... the steel bumper and 40" spare with beefed up carrier in the back... and roof rack on top... your suspension had roughly the same travel as a Lamborghini Aventador...

 

[Chugiakguy]

144) You see a tractor plowing a field, and you say to yourself "I should have those tires".

145) You get your IRS tax refund check, and you immediately start imaging all the yet-unpurchased mods that you could buy with it.

146) You have more dust inside your ride than an Egyptian tomb.

147) You've said to yourself 24 times already "This is the LAST big mod I'm going to add!"

 

[Opus]

148.) With the top off in the summer, you've discovered that the leather passenger seat is a great place to parbake bread...

149.) You blush a little every time you see a picture of a bump stop because it looks like... like

...well you know what it looks like...

150.) You washed your Jeep and afterward were legit surprised by what shade the paint actually was. Shit. I knew it was green, but I didn't remember it being that green...

 

[Opus]

151.) Between the 8.4" head unit, the aux switches as well as the CB, mounted phone, cameras, and all the additional gauges and toggles you added; your buddy... the airline pilot...

... thinks your dash is a little... extra.

 

[Opus]

152.) You built Jeeps on the Jeep.com website for fun... until you accidentally created the Unobtainium Edition:

I mean, it's cool and all, but it'll kinda take the fun out of "wheeling"...

 

[Opus]

153.) You heard that LED lights don't get warm enough and accumulate snow in the winter... so now you're buying a house in Florida...

154.) Your girlfriend finally said, "It's either me or the Jeep" and you figure the palimony will cover some really nice mods...

155.) You told your spouse you've picked up a side-hustle as an Uber driver... but oddly you're out driving for hours at a time and never seem to catch a fare...

156.) You power washed your engine bay, wheel well and undercarriage, and came up with enough clay to build an outdoor fireplace...

 

[TheBirdie72]

157.) You tried to come up with the next Jeep joke but realized they have all been written already.
?

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