Parents retiring

[Vito92]

So this year I turned 30 back in Nov and my dad retired a month ago and my mom will likely retire next year. I call them every week along with my grandmother who I visit at every chance I get since I'm practically free of any real responsibilities except school and work and shes my only grandparent left. However ever since my dad retired I've found myself in some cases being the nagging parent constantly calling seeing what they're up to asking if they took their meds getting things done etc. (They're not crazy sick or anything). At times though I feel like I'm annoying them even though they haven't said anything. So I was wondering anyone else who went through a similar thing or how you supported your parents or loveones or whoever in a similar situation. Or am I overreacting

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[Opus]

Without any mitigating factors it sounds like you might be overreacting just a bit. If they were unwell physically or had some cognitive issues I could see wanting to "parent" them a bit. If not, though, let them enjoy their retirement for a while. Just let them know that you're there for them if/when they need you.

For us, our youngest daughter left home for college the same month my mother moved in with us. My wife and I would have enjoyed being empty nesters for a bit, but circumstances dictated otherwise. Enjoy your freedom while you have it.

 

[americonium]

Talk to your parents as often as possible. There's going to come a day when they won't be there to chat.

 

[MerPinXEss]

We’re not quite to where your parents are, but we are almost to kids being grown and thinking about what we would do with all that freedom. I’ll give you a hint it started with just empty…and ended with…when we get back to the outpost there will be signal, we can check in then. Our parents are; 1 live in, the others retired and MIA sometimes.
Everyone’s version of retirement looks different, be supportive and help them set goals. Just might not want to set Jeep goals or there will be no inheritance left. Maybe something as simple as sunrise in a different town once a month…and smile.

 

[Dgr401]

My wife and I have experienced this with both sets of parents. If your father just retired and your mother is retiring next year you can wait a little bit to become their parents. That is basically what happens but unless they are not well you don’t need to hover over them for a while. You will know when it is time to be concerned, the signs will show up, mostly gradual in our experience but they will show up. Just be there for them, it doesn’t hurt to call every week, they like that but don’t pester them with a lot of questions. Like I said, you will know when it is time. We wound up taking care of our parents for almost 20 years (all but one lived into their mid nineties). My parents wound up living in an assisted living facility which was great but the commitments of us were still there. Honestly, it can be very frustrating at times but helping them is the priority. Enjoy your parents and keep seeing your grandmother, grandmothers are special.

 

[JL MADDOG]

As a retiree with grown kids I would say stop the nagging. I know I would not like that sort of behavior and intrusion on my life. You have a relationship with your parents and that should continue.

Let your parents live their lives. Retirement doesn't mean they've become old, frail and dependent on others. They have a lot of life yet to live and when your Mom retires they will have new things to do, new places to go and new experiences to enjoy. Don't intrude on that.

 

[PhoenixM3]

So this year I turned 30 back in Nov and my dad retired a month ago and my mom will likely retire next year. I call them every week along with my grandmother who I visit at every chance I get since I'm practically free of any real responsibilities except school and work and shes my only grandparent left. However ever since my dad retired I've found myself in some cases being the nagging parent constantly calling seeing what they're up to asking if they took their meds getting things done etc. (They're not crazy sick or anything). At times though I feel like I'm annoying them even though they haven't said anything. So I was wondering anyone else who went through a similar thing or how you supported your parents or loveones or whoever in a similar situation. Or am I overreacting

To me, it sounds like you're a good Son. Ask them directly if they believe you're being a nuisance.

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