You might be a Jeeper if...

[Opus]

320.) You removed your windshield because you can... and all it took was one smudge on your glasses to give yourself a washer fluid facial...

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[Opus]

321.) You took your doors off for the first time this summer. Now, you've put them back on, only to discover your precious Jeep has all the cabin space of an '83 Yugo...

 

[Opus]

322.) Q: What's the difference between owning a Jeep and a cocaine addiction? A: One is a habit infesting every fiber of your being that costs a ridiculous amount of money leaving you perpetually chasing a fleeting high that's over far too quickly... and the other is cocaine...

 

[Opus]

323.) Hey, I read in the paper that Chad took his own life... holiday blues, I guess. Poor bastard. But hey, if you're looking for a nice 2021 4-door hard top, Firecracker red, I'm guessing there will be one on the market soon... and here I bet you thought it couldn't get any more dank...

324.) You discover the auxiliary battery really helps with fuel consumption and emissions... because when it dies and drains your main battery your Jeep no longer runs. See? No fuel consumption. No emissions. Genius.

 

[Opus]

325.) You don't have to have an Anvil, or a Silver Zynith to name your Jeep "Dorian Gray"... because no matter what the color, the older you get... the better it looks.

 

[DarthAWM]

97.) You once considered whether large enough tires, a deep enough tread, and 4L could turn your Jeep into a paddle boat...

Whistlin' Diesel has proved that true, with Monster Max, and Bob Chandler too with Bigfoot back in the 80's

 

[DarthAWM]

190.) You've discovered that with the Cold Weather Group:

• One light on the seat warmer button warms the seats.
• Two lights will defrost a frozen rump roast in the passenger seat during your morning commute.
• Three lights will cook that roast to a beautiful medium-rare on your drive home.

My wife would have it on 3 and wish for a 4th

 

[DarthAWM]

299.) You sold your soul to the Devil, but only in the fine print did you realize that deal now requires you to hawk useless junk on Jeep forums while pretending it's an unsolicited testimonial...

So you're telling me Extreme Terrain is the Devil?

 

[Opus]

So you're telling me Extreme Terrain is the Devil?

That's been my experience...

 

[CDRMidnight]

My wife would have it on 3 and wish for a 4th

Oh wait…

Cheers,
-CM-

 

[Opus]

326.) Talking to non-Jeepers or new-Jeepers makes you sound like a cultist...

"Hi! Can I tell you about my 17 step system to get my Jeep sparkling like a diamond in a goat's ass???"

"Hi! Can I explain to you in detail why a 5-tire rotation is infinitely better than a 4-tire rotation???"

"Hi! Can I share 326 idiotic reasons why Jeepers are a little... unusual???"

 

[Opus]

327.) You occasionally have to sacrifice a beautiful Saturday getting all four of your tires to precisely 32psi. IYKYK...

 

[Opus]

328.) You bought a manual with crank windows and manual door locks for the insurance. Oh... not car insurance... the insurance that your wife and adult kids won't want to borrow it every damn day...

 

[Opus]

329.) Late at night... when the house is quiet... and it's just you, alone with your thoughts... you realize that deep, deep down you secretly must be a fan of AFVs. Because with your re-geared 392 on 40s, with a roof rack and ESS delete getting 9mpg, you are apparently hellbent on using up every last drop of dinosaur juice on the planet.

 

[Opus]

330.) You've hung out on the forums long enough to know that there is no such thing as a dumb question... just dumb people who ask questions...

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