You might be a Jeeper if...

[Opus]

331.) You put these in your Amazon wish list...

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CDW7JLL...MC2R1KQK0&ref_=list_c_wl_lv_ov_lig_dp_it&th=1

and wait for them to go on sale...

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[Opus]

332.) For Jeepers of a certain age... to the tune of The Beatles "A Day in the Life"...

I read the forum today, oh boy
About a Jeep whose battery shit the bed
And though the news was rather sad
Well, I just had to laugh
AUX battery epitaph

He blew every dollar on his Jeep
He thought the battery had another year
A crowd of people stood and stared
They'd seen his face before
He's the one who drove around without a one of his four doors

I saw a YouTube vid today, oh boy
Go through the fuse box or the fender well
A crowd of people turned away
But I just had to look
Because there was no book
I hope you turn on

Woke up, fell out of bed
Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
And looking up, I noticed I was late
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Was in the Jeep in seconds flat
When it didn't start I had a smoke
And somebody spoke and I went into a dream

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

My Jeep wouldn't start today, oh boy
Four thousand miles past MOPAR's warranty
And though the battery's rather small
I had to pay it all
Spent all this money just to drive it to and from the lousy mall

Please will you turn on...

 

[Opus]

333.) You talk to @JeepCares more than your therapist. Which is fine, except now the lines are beginning to blur and you’re not sure who to tell about your recurring dream of marrying your mother and pushing your father to keep driving your Jeep before the clutch recall…

oh... and a happy early Mother's Day to all you Jeep Mom's out there...

 

[Opus]

334.) Your friends regale you with their tales of modding their Jeeps. Greasy hands, lift kits, bloody knuckles and re-gearing. Then they ask you what you did to your Jeep this weekend...

And then you realize that the photo you took not only commemorates your "accomplishment" but oddly symbolizes your dwindling manhood...

 

[Opus]

335.) Riding with the doors off, a fluke of turbulence caused one of your ducks to get sucked off the dashboard and out of the Jeep... filling you with an odd mixture of sadness and pride.

 

[Opus]

336.) You've discovered the power your Jeep has to control the weather. Put the doors and top on and the forecast magically changes to 72 degrees and sunny every day. Pull the doors and top and it's rainy season in the tropics.

 

[Opus]

337.) Hot and humid weather? The perfect time to pull those doors and windows, put that top down, and let that air flow... until you get stuck behind a livestock hauler that smells like it hasn't been hosed out since the early aughts.

 

[Opus]

338.)

It's a Jeep-Thing... you wouldn't understand...

 

[Miloe]

Don't quit now, you're so close, lol.

 

[TEAMSLO]

339.) You cancelled an annual vacation last minute due to a jeep part arrive unexpectedly 2 weeks early.

Had this happen where part was 30 days out so I ordered it thinking once I was back the part would arrive a week or so later. 2 days before I left, got a surprise tracking email that it would be arriving Sat so I cancelled my trip. Part installed and went wheeling instead.

 

[Fatbob Frank]

340- You've actually memorized at least 4 different torque specs...

 

[Opus]

341.) Time once again to reach into the old mailbag and answer a question from a reader.

----------------------------------
Dear Opus,

Do I wave or not???​

​

XXOO,​

Noodlewrist​

----------------------------------

Dear Noodlewrist,

Thanks for your question. Obviously, I could just render a judgment or offer an opinion, but where's the fun in that? Instead, let's dissect this question using the same technique I employ for any existential question I face, from 'what is my purpose in the universe?', to 'I'm feeling a bit peckish, what do I want to eat?' I refer, of course, to Hegelian Dialecticism.

For those who wave, let's begin by sussing out the rationale behind your choice. I recommend, as I am wont to do, beginning with some quality time spent in quiet introspection. Ask yourself the question: Really, truly... ultimately... for whom the bell tolls is my wave? I would posit that once you've spent enough time gazing at your navel, you will discover your wave is not so much for the oncoming driver as for yourself. 'How can that be?', you ask. Let's dig a little deeper. Should you choose to wave, there's a decent chance the oncoming driver may not see the wave or have time to recognize the wave and respond in time. They may be morally opposed to the wave, or mayhaps they are new to Jeeping and don't understand the custom and importance of said wave. Regardless, you've chosen to wave and nothing happens. You've extended a friendly gesture only to have it not reciprocated in kind. Now what? If you happen to incidentally overlook the perfectly innocuous reasons, suggested above, why your wave was not returned, what are you likely to think about the oncoming driver in that moment? 'What a stuck-up asshat!' ... 'Buy a Bronco, you pathetic excuse for a human being!', 'Fuck you, you fuckity fucking fuck!'... come to mind. Which brings us back to your rationale for initiating the wave in the first place. If you are bothered by the fact your wave was not returned... was the gesture really for them, or was it for thee you? For those who wave I say your wave is a selfish act. After your sabbatical of quiet introspection I am confident you will discover that with your waves what you seek, nay what you crave, is connection and affirmation. You need the other driver to acknowledge your place behind the wheel of your Jeep? Why? Only your therapist knows for sure. Maybe your mother didn't love you enough... maybe a little too much? I am reminded of the quote attributed to Richard Bach: "“If you love something, set it free; if it comes back it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was.” If the wave doesn't come back to you, it never was... Though, truth be told, I've always been more partial to the variant: "If you love something set it free; if it doesn't come back... hunt it down and kill it." But, I digress.

Now, let's examine the other side of the issue. For those who clearly see the wave, and understand its significance in Jeep culture, why do you not return the gesture? Are you naturally a contrarian or a nonconformist... a rebel without a cause? Up the "man" and his customs and his Jeep rules! Hey, I get it. The older I get, the less of a "joiner" I become. Most days I am convinced Sartre was right... "Hell is other people." While you're at it, take those ducks you receive and violate them in unspeakable ways, preferably in full view of the doe-eyed 9 year old girl who put it on your door handle in the first place. But consider, what is the opportunity cost of your little rebellion? Sure, the gesture is meaningless, perhaps even mildly offensive, to you, but what does it cost to extend a brief moment of kindness to a passing Jeeper who, as demonstrated above, obviously needs it? A simple flick of the maximus and index digits costs you nothing (assuming you're not an amputee, in which case, my deepest apologies) yet may mean everything to your Jeep brother or sister.

So, Noodlewrist, in the end should you wave? I don't know. Ask Chad.

 

[Opus]

Thanks.

 

[dragoneggs]

342) You ask your neighbor to check in on your Jeep while you’re on vacation.

 

[Opus]

342) You ask your neighbor to check in on your Jeep while on vacation.

If I parked mine outside, I would absolutely do this.

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