Jeep humor waiting room ( ** NO POLITICS ** )

[cedxc2005]

Metro-North just suspended service due to the storm and told customers to "stay away from GCT", so I'm sitting in the office.... just effing awesome. Soon enough these clowns will start shutting down at a first sight of a raindrop.


so, jokes time:

I heard they had too many trees down on the tracks...

But I sympathize.

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[obwahn]

Fingers crossed

His interview with Salesforce went OK. He's supposed to hear from them this week. In the mean time, keep interviewing.

 

[JEEPJL]

Always with the language!!!
Don’t act like you don’t like it.

 

[Smarrtazz]

 

[auxSwitch]

old one, but maybe some people didn't see this and will get a giggle out of it.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B...ode=as2&tag=natdee-20&linkId=NGRX6ZRVOORCC57F

hint: read the reviews

 

[obwahn]

I see your drink, but where is Lydia's? That puny thing next to yours cannot be her's. Oh wait, that must be your SO's. hehe

 

[auxSwitch]

I heard they had too many trees down on the tracks...

But I sympathize.

Until the below happens, I don't see a problem.

 

[Smarrtazz]

old one, but maybe some people didn't see this and will get a giggle out of it.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00L403O94/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&cre ativeASIN=B00L403O94&linkCode=as2&tag=natdee-20&linkId=NGRX6ZRVOORCC57F

hint: read the reviews

OMG! That is some funny shit!!!

 

[Smarrtazz]

I see your drink, but where is Lydia's? That puny thing next to yours cannot be her's. Oh wait, that must be your SO's. hehe

Ahahaha! Someone has to be DD

 

[obwahn]

old one, but maybe some people didn't see this and will get a giggle out of it.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00L403O94/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&cre ativeASIN=B00L403O94&linkCode=as2&tag=natdee-20&linkId=NGRX6ZRVOORCC57F

hint: read the reviews

Too funny!

 

[auxSwitch]

since we are on the topic of Canadians:

A rather large older woman, a gorgeous young hot blonde, an American man and a Canadian man are all riding together in a train car.

As the train passes through a tunnel, the distinctive sound of a loud slap is heard.

When they emerge from the tunnel, a bright red handprint is on the face of the American.


The fat woman thinks "that dirty American grabbed that blonde in the tunnel and she slapped him!"

The blonde thinks "that dirty American must have tried to grab me, but grabbed the fatso by mistake and she slapped him!"

The American thinks "that Canadian bastard felt up that blonde and she slapped me by mistake!"

The Canadian thinks "I can’t wait ’til we go through another tunnel so I can slap that stupid American again!"

 

[Smarrtazz]

since we are on the topic of Canadians:

A rather large older woman, a gorgeous young hot blonde, an American man and a Canadian man are all riding together in a train car.

As the train passes through a tunnel, the distinctive sound of a loud slap is heard.

When they emerge from the tunnel, a bright red handprint is on the face of the American.


The fat woman thinks "that dirty American grabbed that blonde in the tunnel and she slapped him!"

The blonde thinks "that dirty American must have tried to grab me, but grabbed the fatso by mistake and she slapped him!"

The American thinks "that Canadian bastard felt up that blonde and she slapped me by mistake!"

The Canadian thinks "I can’t wait ’til we go through another tunnel so I can slap that stupid American again!"

:cwl::cwl::cwl:

 

[WranglerJLU4Greg]

RA, my paternal grandfather was Canadian. He sure love his maple sugar candies, etc.

 

[Smarrtazz]

 

[auxSwitch]

The novel “Fifty Shades Of Grey” has seduced women – and baffled blokes.
Now, Fifty Sheds Of Grey, offers a treat for the men.
The book's author Colin Grey recounts his love encounters at the bottom of the garden. Here are some extracts...


Fifty Sheds Of Grey

We tried various positions – round the back, on the side, up against a wall.
But in the end we came to the conclusionthe bottom of the garden was the only place for a good shed.



She stood before me, trembling in my shed.
“I’m yours for the night,” she gasped, “You can do whatever you want with me.”
So I took her to Bunning’s.



She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first, then harder until finally it came.
I moaned with pleasure. Now for the other boot.



Ever since she read THAT book, I’ve had to buy all kinds of ropes, chains and shackles.
She still manages to get into the shed, though.



“Put on this rubber suit and mask,” I instructed, calmly. “Mmmm, kinky!” she purred.
“Yes,” I said, “You can’t be too careful with all that asbestos in the shed roof.”



“I’m a very naughty girl,” she said, biting her lip. “I need to be punished.”
So I invited my mum to stay for the weekend.



“Harder!” she cried, gripping the workbench tightly. “Harder!”
“Okay,” I said. “What’s the gross national product of Nicaragua?”



I lay back exhausted, gazing happily out of the shed window.
Despite my concerns about my inexperience, my rhubarb had come up a treat.



“Are you sure you can take the pain?” she demanded, brandishing stilettos.
“I think so,” I gulped. “Here we go, then,” she said, and showed me the receipt.



“Hurt me!” she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over my workbench.
“Very well,” I replied. “You have fat ankles and no dress sense.”



“Are you sure you want this?” I asked.

“When I’m done, you won’t be able to sit down for weeks.” She nodded.
“Okay,” I said, putting the three-piece lounge suite on eBay.



“Punish me!” she cried. “Make me suffer like only a real man can!”
“Very well,” I replied, so I left the toilet seat up

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