Daily Dose of Random Funny

[Wkaz]

[Took me all week, but I made this pallet from an old coffee table.]

 

[Dgr401]

A BURGLER BREAKS INTO A HOME
He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you."
Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search.
Again, "Jesus is watching you."
He turned his flashlight around, and saw a parrot in a cage.
He asked the parrot if he was the one talking.
The parrot said, "Yes."
He asked the parrot his name.
The parrot said, "Moses."
The burglar asked, "What kind of people would name their parrot, Moses?"
The parrot replied, "The same kind of people who would name their pitbull Jesus."

 

[Dgr401]

An old blind Marine wanders
. . . into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
The bouncer is a blonde girl.
I'm a 6-foot-tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind Marine thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.

 

[rdfact]

 

[rdfact]

 

[Vanburi]

 

[Whiskeybiskit]

 

[jeepingib]

 

[Vanburi]

 

[mrchristopher2]

 

[Vanburi]